Small Group Sessions October 1997

I HAVE SPENT MANY YEARS DEALING WITH DEATH AND THE LOSS OF MANY PEOPLE INCLUDING MY FATHER, FATHER-IN-LAW, AND THEN MY HUSBAND. SOMETIMES IT SEEMS LIKE ALL THOSE WHO DIED WENT TO A BIG PARTY THAT I WAS NOT INVITED TO. I HAVE STARTED GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TO GET MY MASTERS IN COUNSELING AND HAVE WONDERED HOW OTHERS COULD EVER KNOW ALL THAT I HAVE BEEN AWAKENED TO WHILE DOING SO MUCH DEATH WORK. NOW I WONDER IF GOING BACK TO SCHOOL WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND IF THERE IS ANOTHER WAY TO SATISFY MY SOUL. I WANT TO STAY IN TOUCH WITH THAT HIGH “SPIRIT SENSE” THAT I HAD. IS THIS THE ROAD? ALSO, PLEASE TELL JOHN THAT I KNOW HE IS HERE OFTEN, BUT I STILL LONG TO HOLD HIM. I STAY TO LIVE ON FOR WHAT PURPOSE?

In your awareness of death you have also learned about life, and in your awareness of life you have also learned about death. Your certificate or your learning in school is not going to ever equate the learning that you had during such times when you were walking with these ones, life and death, death and life mixed and communicating from one side to the other, and understanding at depths that you can not even articulate.

You are learning some language in your schooling that may be bridging from your experience to others, because so much of what you learned is yet within you waiting for a way to come forth and to be birthed, expressed, and shared. You can let some of the language serve you, but not the structures that would limit you. Your way is not to teach or only be a counselor but to assist ones to become intimate as you were once intimate with these levels of awareness and consciousness. Let yourself realize that what you long for is the intimacy that you experienced during these intense times, the intimacy where Spirit and earth, life and death, and the truth peels itself open from all of the illusions that are wrapped around it so that you are intimately experiencing it. That is not only on the other side, that is present here. In fact, your body longs for it once again.

Realize that is not only through your schooling, but by choosing for yourself to open the levels of intimacy with your own life force and your experience of self more deeply, not only given the avenues of those who have left or are leaving. There are also the avenues of your own body, your own consciousness, your own desires, and your own capacities that will assist you to re-integrate and then articulate and express these levels of intimacy.

Your loved one, John, is often present supporting you with love and feeling your love as well. He is also encouraging you to be aware and to realize that your choice for life is truly your path. It is not that you are missing a great party, but you are bringing the experience of the depths of consciousness that are available when ones are opening these doorways, and those can be brought into life. There is a blurring of distinction between the physical and the non-physical, for life is life. Some life has a more dense appearance than other life forms. The physical matter body has great capacities to experience fully the life force of the spirit within it. There is a way in which your awareness of needing and wanting intimacy with others at these levels can be created again, but not necessarily only through death.

I AM AWARE OF A COUPLE OF ANCIENT NAMES THAT ARE MINE: ILTARA AND TEMERENTHA ABAQUOR. WHAT DO THEY MEAN AND WHAT IS THEIR SIGNIFICANCE?

It is difficult to translate ancient vibratory names because the languages they are in are not linear languages as is English or any of the modern languages. The first one has to do with an experience of what it would be like to be sort of like a branch swaying in the wind. What it would feel like to be so fluid and in harmony with the currents of nature that there is a sense of complete symbiosis. So you can access the name through the experience and the name is the experience.

The second one is a bit more elaborate or complex, for it has both an earth energy as well as a frequency that is off-planet or a different source than earth for its makeup. The first part is earth and that is the delineation of one that is able to perceive with clarity, without contamination or a sense of illusion. So the perception of certain levels of wisdom are and have been part of you, and in another time this was recognized by others so you were given the name. The second part of the name, however, is part of something that would be considered an emanation that is more specifically a combination of certain principles that when they come together form a way of being. In earth terms it is rather like if one was able to understand how all things are in harmony with all other things so that there is always a level of communication going on between them. Yet because this is not of earth it is not the same as creation here. It is rather another level of organization where all of these things communicate and form an experience that was the experience in another time, another space, and another planetary kind of experience. It is a long answer, difficult to put into language.

I AM A TEACHER IN AN INNER CITY SCHOOL. I AM PLANNING TO TRANSITION INTO A NEW FIELD AND CAREER BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF JOY MY 22 YEARS HAS BROUGHT ME IN MY PROFESSION. I MUST BE VERY STRICT, AND OFTEN NOT LOVING TO MY STUDENTS. I KNOW ON ONE LEVEL THAT IF I DON’T, THE ATMOSPHERE WILL NOT BE CONDUCIVE FOR LEARNING. MANY OF THE CHILDREN COME FROM DEPRIVED FAMILY SITUATIONS WHERE THERE IS LITTLE DISCIPLINE OR STRUCTURE. YET AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL SO UNHAPPY AND DRAINED AFTER A DAY OF BEING “SO UNLIKE MY REAL SELF”. WHAT CAN I DO?

It is difficult because these children need someone who is like you, your true self. The system that organizes learning in a certain way prohibits you from truly stepping out of the structure that is there and creating from your own knowing of what would be a way of bringing forward the excitement of true learning through curiosity, or true research into the greater knowing within each of the young ones that is with you. Yet they also are damaged. They have wounds and they have lack of love. At times they have wounds from abuse and boundary violations that have become so normal that they do not understand where they begin or end, or where another one begins. They have no sense of self, so it is difficult.

It is understandable that you wish to move on because your capacity for life in your life has been drained and limited. Take a little trip alone out of the city for a weekend and go into nature. Sit and allow yourself to return to the early times when you felt excitement about learning, what it is that gives you joy in your quest to know yourself, your quest to find out what makes you feel alive, and gives you excitement.

Go back and ask your students the same questions you ask yourself even if it is not topical. Spend about 15 minutes each day opening these places within them and then open the door to a co-creative learning experience that is also surrounded by love. Allow yourself to realize that there is a greater love for each of your students beyond what you, alone, can give them, and begin to see them that way. See the love that is surrounding them and that is there for them always in every moment. Invite them to see it and feel it, too, even if it is not coming through their parents or family situations or even other classroom situations. Invite them, and begin to be yourself, and you will find that they will become themselves more truly, too.

I HAVE COME A LONG WAY IN MY LIFE WITH THE REALIZATION THAT MOST OF THE CHOICES I HAVE MADE OF MY OWN FREE WILL HAVE BEEN THE WRONG CHOICES. I AM ONE THAT GIVEN THE RIGHT OR THE WRONG HAVE ALWAYS CONSCIOUSLY CHOSEN THE WRONG. I AM SORRY NOW, FOR I HAVE COME TO A POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I FEEL I KNOW MYSELF ENOUGH TO SEE HOW WHAT I HAVE DONE HAS AFFECTED MY SPIRIT. I WISH TO BE OF SERVICE IN SOME WAY TO THOSE AROUND ME I SEE DOING THE SAME AS I HAVE DONE IN THE PAST. WHERE DO I BEGIN?

You have already begun, obviously waking up and becoming more conscious of the place that choices are made. Consciousness continues to assist you to become more and more aware of the levels that play out in making choices. Early in your life you were making choices, but you were still patterned in a sort of paradoxical way to choose what felt to you to be the choice that you would say now is wrong. Yet if you go deeper into that place you will see that there is a subtle level of programming that was in your family system that in order to distinguish yourself you had to make a separate kind of choice because there was not a sense of recognition of you as being unique. To do so you were set into a program or pattern that was in opposition to what was considered the norm or the “good”.

So you wake up to this and understand that you do not wish to play the part of opposition to the “good” in order to distinguish yourself as individual, unique, and separate. Instead you can begin to ask what is for your optimal truth, your optimal good, and what fits who you are. That question begins to free you from your old program and begins to assist you to live from that place. Living from that place then assists you to assist others.

If you can live your truth, knowing what is in integrity with your soul, you emit a certain frequency and vibration that others who are also seeking to come into integrity with their heart and truth will be attracted to you. Then you speak with them and perhaps tell them portions of your own story and what happened to you. You listen to them, and as they speak they come into greater integrity and they leave feeling more aligned, because your energy has associated their energy with a new way of being conscious, a new higher organizational pattern in their consciousness. So you are helping by being true to yourself.

I WORK AS A PSYCHIC. PART OF MY GUIDANCE COMES FROM DAILY WALKING MEDITATIONS. AS OF LATE I HAVE BEEN RECEIVING WHAT APPEARS TO BE SOME SORT OF GEOMETRICAL DOMINOS FIGURES – BOUNCING BALLS OF LIGHT IN FIGURATURES. THESE ARE VISUAL IN MY PERCEPTION AND ARE NOT COMING THROUGH MY PSYCHIC SENSES, AND THEY SHOW UP ONLY WHEN I’M ON THE WALKS. WHAT AM I RECEIVING?

You are receiving impulses from the bodies of those who would be considered the nature spirits who can take quite visible matter form when ones are able to be of similar frequency. When you come into harmony with them you see them and they see you, so they can communicate with you. They don’t communicate with words the same way humans do. They communicate with what you perceive as little strands of light or energy that you pick up and receive and you interpret. Or they may be assisting you to heal in some way, for the desire of the natural world is to assist other aspects of the natural world (your body, your being) to come into balance and harmony and to become more aligned with what is possible for you. So you are receiving certain attunements and information that assists you to be in greater harmony and alignment in your body, and to begin to dissipate old patterns that would keep you from being fully and vitally alive. If you wish you can listen more intently or ask more directly and they will perhaps communicate in ways that you can interpret and consciously comprehend in your awareness and with your psychic abilities.

I RECENTLY TOOK A COURSE IN KOFUTU IN WHICH THE INSTRUCTOR CHARGED US $1500 FOR A SEVEN DAY COURSE. THIS STILL SEEMS LIKE AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT TO PAY, AND WHY I DID I’M NOT SURE. I FEEL LIKE I’VE BEEN RIPPED OFF. DID I GET RIPPED OFF OR DID I RECEIVE A LOT MORE THAN I AM CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF? WHY DID I TAKE THIS COURSE AND WHY AM I FEELING SO VICTIMIZED?

The sense of victimization is because the teacher held the position of teacher and gave out information but truly did not share the activating energy necessary to elicit what it was within you that would have opened your own channel of healing and your own channel of receptivity to what was the symbolic characters that are designed to activate certain levels of consciousness. The course itself had much within it, but the teacher did not emit or give out the activating energy, therefore in keeping that positioning of holding some of that back then you did not feel as if your capacity to receive everything that was presented was truly able to be received.

Ask the Kofutu masters beyond the physical plane to join you. Bring the materials you were given, the symbols, etc., that are part of the practice. Ask them for the activating energy and you will then begin to open this in a whole other way so that you receive it and then can utilize it in a different way that is more from you and your way of remembering and utilizing such information. Then you will not feel as if you have missed that piece.

You took this course to remember and activate certain levels of consciousness that were and are familiar to you. Yet without the key frequencies you are not able to access those yourself and they stayed apart or seemingly separate from you. They are still present to open, just ask the great masters within the spiritual plane to sit with you while you focus and receive such.

AFTER JUST COMPLETING TRAINING IN MERKABA I AM NO LONGER FEARFUL OF THE CHANGES COMING ON MOTHER EARTH. I AM A CHANNEL AND HAVE BEEN RECEIVING VERY UNUSUAL MESSAGES THAT MAKE NO SENSE, AND WONDER IF THE FREQUENCY CHANGES ARE BRINGING IN HIGHER DIMENSIONAL GUIDES TO ASSIST US. I ALSO FIND THAT I CAN NO LONGER TOLERATE SOME PEOPLE DUE TO THEIR REFUSAL TO ACCEPT WHAT IS AHEAD OF US. THIS IS VERY DISTURBING TO ME BECAUSE I TRY NOT TO JUDGE AND REALIZE THAT EVERY SOUL HAS TO VIBRATE TO ITS OWN REALIZATIONS. I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS FEELING AND HAVE DISCUSSED IT WITH MANY OTHER SPIRITUAL PEOPLE RECENTLY. THERE IS AN OVERLYING SADNESS THAT SOME OF OUR FRIENDS ARE NOT OPEN TO RECEIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY SAY THEY ARE. ALSO, IT SEEMS WE ARE EXPERIENCING ACHES AND PAINS IN MUSCLES AND JOINTS; COULD THIS BE AN ALIGNMENT? THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.

As the frequency increases within your body there are areas of density that begin to vibrate out of your consciousness because there is not the same kind of match-up that there once was. So you begin to feel it in joints, muscles, tendons, and areas that have been holding rigid thought forms. This begins to identify the places where the frequencies are now shifting in consciousness. It is your consciousness that is shifting and releasing old thoughts inherited or taken on through the culture, through parents, through training programs that were identified as truthful in the past but not truly what is truthful in the body.

This also happens in social experiences where your frequency begins to shift and then those who have not moved in that same way feel as if there is more and more a lack of harmony or communication. It does not mean that they will not choose it at some time, but they are not choosing it in the same time as you. So you will find yourself attracted to others who are of similar frequency and have a similar consciousness. However there is also a call to bring the frequency deeper into the body in order to communicate body to body and not only mind to mind. Bodies will receive more directly than minds that are limited by certain training and thoughtforms that would not allow certain teaching to come past. Bodies do not have the same limitations.

Be aware that the frequency shifts within your body make you a greater vehicle for dissemination of frequency than anything that you have learned in your mind including any of the predictions which may or may not be true. Be aware of those who offer prophecy and offer it as truth. Do not take prophecy as truth. Prophecy is a way of keeping denser consciousness aligned with the future rather than allowing that denser consciousness to release out of the present and recreate a future in a different form. Be aware that all of what you have learned in the teachings that you took with the merkaba are not completely accurate, and be aware that your body is your level of discernment in this, not your mind.

I HAVE A FRIEND THAT HAS A SORT OF ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. SHE REGULARLY BLOWS OUT LIGHT BULBS AND CRASHES COMPUTERS. WHAT CAN SHE DO ABOUT THIS? ALSO, I DO HEALING WORK AND WOULD LIKE TO HELP A YOUNG TEENAGER WITH REALLY BAD KNEES. MEDICALLY IT HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED AS VERY LITTLE MUSCLE TONE IN THE BACK OF HIS LEGS COMBINED WITH THE LIGAMENTS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OVER THE KNEES THAT ARE OFF TO ONE SIDE. WHAT CAN I DO TO BE OF ASSISTANCE?

When we look at the young boy you speak of we see that this one has a former life injury to the legs and knees. Place your hands on the knees and ask for the old trauma and injury to release out of the pattern of the etheric body so that the physical body can then begin to realign and reconnect the energy lines that have been disconnected through the knees and through the legs. It is as if he has very poor electrical connections through the legs as though there have been severences. These can be reconnected etherically. The sensation then is more of flow that is consistent and integrated. Then by referencing the blueprint for the body for optimal health, the knees themselves can begin to realign etherically and physically so that if stronger muscle tone is needed that can begin to grow, and if certain things need to reorganize or restructure that can happen. The body is quite fluid, not structurally immovable. It responds to any etheric shifts or changes that are made.

The friend that affects computers, etc., carries a large charge in her body that is not aligned with the earth directly. Not grounded out, so to speak. So it is rather like having 440 voltage plugging into those things that cannot carry such a charge. She needs to ground her energy. She needs to open her root chakra and get the ability to move the energy down into the earth. Carrying obsidian, hematite, or denser rock material would help, but it is also a matter of dealing with what is keeping her from allowing her energy to open through the pelvic chakra and the root chakra and her legs. That would assist her to not be so affecting of the machinery and the electrical currents running through the machinery.