I bet you weren’t expecting this in your inbox :)
I began this update once upon a time, and then completely lost track of where I saved it. Apparently some new material wanted to be included, making this version 2.0. The delay in posting turned out to be beneficial. Funny how that works.
So, how are you? That may seem like a rhetorical question, but not completely. At the end of this update I added a link to a message board where you can talk back. It’s a simple forum I haven’t used before, but we should be able to dialogue a bit.
It’s amazing how quickly time seems to be moving. It’s hard to believe that February 7th marked one year since we sold our building. Grief was a companion as we let go of our beautiful space, along with a sense of completion for lifetimes worth of work. Fading quickly are memories of processes, classes, processes, channelings, processes, clients, events and a few more processes. And never really being done with processes, Transition and its sibling Chaos moved in with us during 2017 as our energies focused on the changes in our lives. Besides grief, exhaustion paid a visit for several months as we decompressed from decades of intense immersion in a seemingly endless series of transformative events.
Through the past year, our outer experiences have reflected our inner work as we entered a phase of deconstruction and rebuilding at our home. Downsizing from our building was a challenge in terms of space needed for life. Our options became either to move or make changes to our home. We like our location and neighbors, and after dipping our toes into the waters of the wild housing market of last spring, we decided to stay put. Our old garage was demolished and replaced with a larger structure that includes more storage space and a second-level working studio for Michele. We’re still doing lots of organizing and decluttering, but we now have workable spaces for our needs. We also installed a solar panel system and new heating/cooling units in our home, so we’re thinking we will be here for awhile. But, given how quickly life can rearrange, I can only say we’ll be here until we’re not.
Also challenging last year was the loss of several friends, some Lightsmith people among them, and family members including my mother and one of Michele’s brothers-in-law. Some deaths were expected, some were not. In those moments Life takes over and one can only go with the flow until the rearrangements begin to gel.
So, it has been a full year with packing, storing, selling, moving, building, grieving, resting, unstoring, remodeling and some illness, including fatigue along with a couple rounds of the dreaded hacking cough topped off with some transformation flu. Oh, and Michele and I got married in the midst of it. What can I say? That was the current and we followed it. It’s what we do :)
On February 7th we decided to take a quiet moment of reflection in our living room about the year since leaving the Lightsmith building. We offered recognition and acknowledgement of what has been and how our lives continue to rearrange. We both had been feeling a loss of regular connection with friends in Spirit, especially since Michele had not channeled that group since 2016. We feel that those in Spirit are never far away, but I find that having a dialogue with them is a comforting experience. It’s the human part of me that likes that level of communication. You probably know where I’m going with this. “They” showed up for a little chat and brought along a large dose of personal acknowledgment and support for which Michele and I were very grateful. I was able to ask questions pertinent to our lives, but also had some discussion on the chaos of these times.
Warning: Reading ahead
I will share some of the dialogue with you. Perhaps you will find it helpful to have some additional perspective of what’s happening in this grand process of transformation still underway. But first, I want to share excerpts from a message we posted many years before we had the Lightsmith building. I don’t even remember how I put out messages back then, but probably as a page on an old version of our website. You are going to think this message sounds like something from this afternoon, but it’s actually from early 2001.
“There is a very strong contraction in the field right now. The contraction is not one where it is felt just because of winter or the physical experience, but it is a contraction of duality. Duality in the matrix itself is pulling itself into a great tension, rather like the poles are widening. As it does so, those people who are either on one side or the other feel a greater and greater emotional attachment to those places in their consciousness where they are attached to one side or the other, with even greater tension with the pole. So there is an even greater relationship in their own unconscious with what has been projected outward and not owned. The nature of duality is a disowning of one aspect, projecting it, and then creating tension with it so there is a charge formed that becomes a substitute for life.”
“There is only one way out of the separation that is growing in terms of its polarity, and it is not through either of the poles. It is to just step out of that field completely. Most people who have so intimately identified themselves with this as life will see it as death to do this. It is actually a step into real life rather than the false illusionary substitute of life. It does at times feel that you are giving up what is known and familiar, but you are stepping into the new matrix which is already formed and is ready to receive anyone who wishes to step into it. It is not like it is just a step, it is moving beyond duality. It is saying ‘no more, I do not wish to do this, I do not wish to play in this arena of separation, of fighting, of drama, of duality where there is charge, but not life’.”
“Many will feel like they are losing their minds or going crazy. They will try to get even more control. These next years will be this drama. Those who have already left duality will not even be much affected by what is happening. Those within duality will feel as if their world is wrenching apart. This will continue. You have a number of years where this will be in transition.”
In human years we’ve each been at this project for a long time. Soul choices determine the timing of our transition from Duality to the New Field, so there is still variation in our experiences as the old structures continue to disintegrate.
Compare the 2001 message to what we received last month. Keep in mind the conversation was focused on me and Michele, but seems universal enough to share – especially among those of you connected with Lightsmith.
“As you and we talked about for many years, there would be a time when the old would begin to coalesce and collapse in upon itself, so to speak. And, it’s happening. It isn’t perhaps a pretty picture, but it is something that needs to occur if something new is to be born. There needs to be a time of reversal or collapse of what were the building blocks, the structures, the patterns, the illusions, and the myths of the old duality….the old patriarchy, the old experience of top down, mind over, etc. It’s time, it’s happening.”
“There’s a certain amount of grace infusing the field, particularly where people are receptive to it, to allow this experience to be more gentle without being so traumatic. Trauma is something that has been frozen in consciousness, and it has an effect. Fear and trauma freeze consciousness. In order to make this transition, trauma also needs to thaw and move and heal, and allow people to become more fluid and able to move beyond what has been frozen. So, there is a significant amount of grace and love interpenetrating your whole experience as a collective humanity, collective planetary experience. And it is not just from us, but from the great Mother that you live upon and within. This love and grace is mediating the process.”
“Those who are waking up now will begin to sense they are coming out of almost a schism within themselves. They may feel as if they have been living in an external world that does not touch or match their internal selves, that they have been giving energy and money and allegiance and loyalty to things that begin to taste sour inside. That kind of awakening is perhaps a little more difficult than the ones that you’ve gone through where you’ve chosen it because you had a sense of it. You’ve chosen it because you sensed that this was amiss, maybe even from childhood you’ve felt different, not akin to what was portrayed around you.”
“But those waking up now and in the next year or so have played the game, you might say. They were good students of duality. They were the achievers, they were the ones who made great strides…money, position, power, homes, life-styles, choices. For many of them it is very frightening as they start to feel this schism within themselves. Their lives that were infused with their life-force and energy start to become less and less fulfilling, more hollow, less satisfying, less workable, and it is more frightening to them. Remember, fear freezes, truly. So those who freeze for a bit hang on more tightly, defend more mightily, and protect what they perceive to be their lives. But they still have a feeling underneath that something is amiss, that something is cracking, that something is not in alignment.”
“That [sense of misalignment] will just grow. There is no turning back, there is no way to get around it. So, the current population that is in the process of what you call waking up are in a particular fear response and a particular holding response until they get further along in this process. Rather than judging them and making them bad for this part of their process, try to understand the experience, even if it’s different than what you’ve gone through. Do you have a sense? Try to understand that this schism is a scary place and that it is kind of a tearing apart from the inside to the outside.”
“They have less preparation, less consciousness. They’re not choosing to assist themselves in a way where they can change their minds and transform their consciousness. Not yet, anyway. Many of them will go through more and more disorientation. They’ll go through increasing amounts of fear and sometimes even terror leading to what is already happening…use and abuse of drugs, alcohol, or whatever can help them with their anxiety. Some of them will make it through this process, some of them will leave in the midst of this process, and some of them will hang on with their mighty wills for as long as they can.”
“And yet, this planet has already shifted beyond the point of no return, you might say. Much beyond it now. And there’s momentum moving through this process. It’s speeding up, and those who chose early on to move through this into the new dimension, you are in place where you can stand and open to receive, and draw from life more directly, and open to learning how to create more collaboratively and mutually…and open to how to be embodied in this new dimension. That’s your learning curve, and that is happening.”
“Sometimes you’ll be able to help one or two people, but you can’t break through the fear barriers while they’re holding on to them. It isn’t wise to break through anything for someone else, is it? So, there is a kind of break, you might say, from being a helper, being a supporter, being a teacher, being a guide, being a leader, being a mentor….partly because in the group that’s coming right now there are very few that are breaking through. Some are, the leading edge of them of course are going through this process. They will seek out support and healing, and they will start to look around for those who perhaps have a way to give perspective they have never considered before. But many of them are still in a place of great fear and holding on for dear life. So you can’t speak as you did for many years.”
“Your audience has changed. You can’t try to convince others. Basically there are those who are stirring, and the stirring is felt deeper within their souls. Their dreams will be more challenging. Their lives will become more challenged and challenging. If they seek solutions that are to keep them from waking up…drugs, alcohol, continued loyalty to particular ways of believing, and people, and leaders, and corporations and etc., they will perhaps not make it through this particular process of awakening. Some will.”
“There will be cracks and fissures that continue to occur in that old duality collective consciousness. Those fissures will continue to erupt rather unpredictably in ways that will take some people by surprise. Those fissures, those cracks will grow until there is a kind of breaking apart. Yes, there will be some people who will rise up at that time from within the new dimension with solutions, with offerings of things that will take the place of what is dissolving and cracking and falling apart.”
“Those places that are wise, that have enough people able to hear, to listen, to respond to, those places will start growing a new creation from within, a new experience that will affect many people, and also bring a kind of stepping stone to those who need to see something happening before they will let go. Some people won’t let go until they see something else. They need to see it. They can’t feel it because they’ve already numbed those places with all of the trauma and fear and that which keeps them bound. But when they see a new step, they may then be able to release a bit more from the old and gravitate toward something else that their friends, family and neighbors start to trust, and perhaps they can trust it, too.”
“So there are different levels of awakening and different levels of awareness. It looks very dualistic, and yet there are cracks that are happening, schisms, that are not as visible on the surface of consciousness right now. Try to not be angry with the process that is unfolding, or with the people that seem to be continuously (to you) feeling as if they are living a grand illusion that no longer has anything real within it. That may be true for you, how you see it. It isn’t true for how they see it. There is a kind of love and grace that when you sink fully into the new dimension, this beautiful new creation experience, your mind will not wander so much out to what’s going on there. Your mind will feel as if it becomes more attuned and then stimulated by what is coming into your own experience and your own creation.”
“You will find there are certain people you connect with, or certain opportunities that open you to a bit of creation. It might not be a big, long career, but a bit of creation that’s yours to do and there is a way that as you attend to those things you also draw more life up, you also draw more energy from the field, and it continues to inform you and in some ways transform you. Your level of transformation is different from others who are still at the level of trying to make a new choice. Your body is in transformation, your experience of how to be you embodied is in transformation, your way of being in relationships is in transformation. Your experience of who you are is in transformation, because you are already a part of something that is new to you and your soul that you’ve never experienced before while embodied.”
“So, breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in to the places that are disconnected and open to what is, kind of like you have a new form here in the field and you have an old plugin. They don’t connect. You’re shifting your inner ways, particularly of receiving. It’s as if your receivers are shifting. They have to, to take in the new.”
[Then, a comment specific to me, Chris – sharing because I know I’m not alone…]
“And you have not been good at receiving, dear one. You’ve been good at creating, and giving, and controlling, managing, being someone who is adept here, but not so much at receiving.” [Yup, tears]
“Receiving is not just about letting someone do something for you. Receiving is your capacity to be vulnerable, to be soft, to be receptive to what you don’t know, what you can’t know is coming. But your soul, your being, is very wise, all-knowing for you, and it might be the process that you’re in here that is connecting with your own wisdom, your own knowing, your own soul with the part of you that split from that or separated and didn’t trust that you would be loved, that you could receive and be received, that you could just be yourself without somehow making something to show people, to illustrate, to in a sense show that you are somehow capable and worthy of being connected with. Do you sense some of this?”
[Yes, I think it’s lifelong, from childhood on…]
“It’s lifetimes long. While embodied, it has been almost impossible to become as present in this world. Duality, the patriarchy, has had such a grip for so many lifetimes that many sensitive souls guarded themselves when they came in. They geared themselves to come in, you might say. Those guards have to come down. That is the part of you that keeps life from gifting you with all that your soul would find joyful and fulfilling. The new dimension is about joy, fulfillment on a personal level, personal embodiment. You haven’t had that for many, many, many lifetimes. So you’re not used to that in the earth. And yet it’s here. It’s possible, it’s now here, it’s opening to you and everyone who finds this connection to the new dimension and opens to it. It’s all here. Trust your soul to weave into this new dimension and life, and your consciousness joins that connection rather than consciousness dominating and not allowing connection. See, there’s a bit of a shift. And it really is just a bit of a shift. It’s not like you have to do tremendous amounts of work here. It’s a bit of a shift, though. Your version of reality, your version of you as how you sense yourself to be can shift and open to include more of the deep, wise, loving joyous presence being that you are.”
“You’re still on the leading edge, but there is a process that is part of that. So, surrender to it. It is a bit of surrender rather than a figuring out at this point. The field is there, your soul is here. Your mind wants to understand. Perhaps that needs to let go of trying to understand or trying to figure it out. Your mind may need to shift its attention a bit more so it’s not separate. And ask your soul to release the guarding. Ask your being to release any guarding. Yes there was pain, and loss, and grief that wasn’t fully understood. And often responsibility for that which was not fully your own. Yes, all of this has been part of your experience. But within that is your wise, beautiful, joyous creative nature that longs for connection with this wise, beautiful, creative dimension of creation so you can collaborate and play and lighten. Lighten, in a sense, and illuminate. And then talk and create…whatever you want to do with it.”
[So it’s not time for outward expressions?]
“You can always share your experience. That’s yours to share anywhere when it feels right. That’s always yours to share. It doesn’t mean it’s not time, it just means that you are in a process yet that is part of what your experience is right now in this moment, and as you let go and surrender more you will start to sense your way into a new experience. You can’t think your way in. You can’t figure out your way in. You can’t understand your way in. You can sense your way in, and that’s the only way in, unfortunately or fortunately depending on your perspective.”
“This year the schisms will widen, the cracks will open and the fear will probably get pretty big as that happens. But it is also opportunity for what comes thorough cracks, what comes through the schisms is all this repressed unconscious. You’ve started to see it happening, women, blacks, Native Americans, all peoples of the world who say NO, we are not going to live this way, this is not of life, and this is who we are and we’re not going away, etc., etc. But more will come, more schisms, more cracks and more of the deep repressed unconscious is surfacing this next year and the year after. So it will be quite intense. For those who want to watch it, for those who have the capacity to participate in it and perhaps offer alternatives when it is time, those people are here for that. They are already placed for that. That’s not your part [again, spoken to Chris but perhaps relevant to others].”
“It’s not your part. You’re not in the midst of the schism. You’re not in the midst of the breakdown. You’re over here opening into a new experience. You’re not retired. That’s not the term to use. But you are in a process of moving into a new collaborative, collective creation that you can’t participate in until you’re in it, until you’re not disconnected from it. So, it’s okay. The process is your own, and if we can be supportive we’re not far away. We’re here. We didn’t go away.”
“But, there is a sort of choice. The word surrender may not be something you like, but it’s akin to the release of the part of you that is afraid to really release or let go of its hold. Just like the people who have their hold out in the old story, you have a bit of a hold to your old way of being here. It’s not dissimilar. There’s some anxiety, fear, that attaches it. Yet fear is not real. It feels real, you can make it real, your body senses it because it senses and feels what you’re processing. And, the new dimension is calling to you. It’s present right here. The living field, Earth Mother, living intelligence, living light, all of the things we’ve spoken of, all the things you know. Your soul will go ‘Oh, hi, hello. Well of course this matches me. Of course this is where I belong’. It’s just the part that’s a bit afraid of letting go of a way of knowing how to be here, a way of being here that no longer really is very pleasant.”
More food for thought, eh? I wanted to share these perspectives to be helpful in relaxing out of reaction to all the craziness. The dissolution is underway, and for awhile it will get even crazier. I also wanted to say hi, and that we have wonderful memories of journeys we shared with you through the vehicle of Lightsmith. It really was something :)
The Message Board
I have set up a message board for you to connect and let us know what’s up with you and how you’re making it through the transition. Feel free to comment or dialogue. The board is not moderated, but it will be monitored and managed. Please be thoughtful in your comments. Use the link below to make a post. Add your email address if you’d like to be notified when someone adds something new.
Transition R Us,
P.S. Michele says Hi!